If your life was a television show, what kind would it be? Would it be a comedy, drama, science fiction, porn? My life has taken so many curves, turns, twists, valleys, hills, that it isn't funny.
I invision my life to be a soap opera. Every night when I go to bed, I can imagine hearing that announcer say, "What will happen to Kevin tomorrow? Will his new flame turn out to be another devil in angel clothing? Will Kevin ever find true love? Will Kevin ever find happiness? Tune in tomorrow for another episode of "The Wacky Adventures of Kevin Smith!" LOL
Sometimes I wonder how I ever got myself in these situations. Then I wonder how I ever got out of it smelling like a rose, rather than yesterday's garbage. I always have come on top, reguardless of the situation or circumstances.
I've had many people tell me, "You're a loser," "You're pathetic." I beg to differ, I see myself as a winner. I have several very good friends, I finally learned that a woman can be trusted, and a positive influence in life (you know who you are).
As I continue along the rest of my journey through life, I know I will have my friends there for me and God guiding me down the path. I may have downfalls, and low points, but they are just temporary and things change, they always do.
I know there is someone out there for me, I just need to look for her. I try to be a postive influence on the people I know, everyone I met, there is a reason behind it, weather if it is to benefit me, or benefit them.
My health could be a lot better, but I survive, I adapt. I will not let anything stop me, we must keep going.
Today 2 major icons died. That is what prompted me to write on this subject and share a bit of my "thinking" to everyone.
Farrah Fawcett died today. She was one of the original Charlie's Angels. I had a crush on her back in the 70's, and like every other boy, had a giant poster of her on my wall, LOL. It saddens me to hear of her passing, but with the pain and agony she has been in, I know it's best, that she is hopefully in a better place.
Micheal Jackson also died today. His song "Beat It" was our high school graduating class song. I find it hard to follow a guy who runs around a stage, wearing a glove on one hand, singing "Beat It." (I know I'll hear a lot on this, but it's how I feel). With all the allegations on his antics, only him and God know the truth. I do have one good thing to say about him: Out of all his crazy antics, the allegations, whatever he did, I do and always love the "Thriller" song and video.
And with that, I will say GOOD NIGHT FARRAH AND MICHAEL WHEREVER YOU ARE TONIGHT.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
What Dreams May Come
When we were all small everyone had a dream. Every kid, reguardless of race, color, creed, or bubblegum flavor has a drem of what he/she wants to be when they grow up. Some want to be a policeman, weather girl on tv, photographer, bailerina, fireman, a bum, whatever that dream may be when you were small, now as an adult have you done what you wanted to do as a kid.
As we go through life, our dreams change. We start college with the goal of becoming what we wanted to be when we are kids, then half way through we change our dream and do something else. Sometimes our dreams are inspired by others, our parents, a celebrity, a good friend. Sometimes our dreams are inspired by tragic events, like the death of loved one or good friends. Sometimest they are even inspired by dreams we have in our sleep.
When I was kid, I wanted to be what a typical little boy always dreamed of, a policeman or fireman. Between my Junior and Senior years in High School, I joined the Army. When I went for my test to see what I "job" I qualified for, I found out I qualified for any job I wanted, except professional ones like Lawyer or Doctor. I ended up with Admistrative Specialist, that would eventually be my downfall. I wasn't thrilled with that, and after I arrived at Fort Jackson (Columbia), South Carolina, I discovered my first medical condition, but that is another story for another time. Anyways, Admistrative Specialist wasn't my dream or even an interest, so I eventually hit a dead end with that.
In my Senior year of High School, I took a Journalism class. I found out that I loved to write. I joined the school newspaper, "The Falcon," and even had one of my stories published in the local newspaper. The story was about "Junior Achievement." I met a wonderful girl from out rival school there (please read previous blog post "My First Kiss" for part that story). I didn't it then, but that person will be a driving force behind another passion I developed, Photography.
After 4 years I moved to North York, PA. It was there I lived one of my dreams, I became a volunteer fireman (see above picture). I lived there for 3 years then moved to Salem, NJ. I lived there and in the next town over for 10 years, for about the first 6 or 7 years, I was a volunteer firman at the fire departments there. I quit when I met my first wife.
By this time I was taking pictures and loving it. Me and my wife never got along, she discouraged me in everything I did. So the light that was shinning on my photography and writing went out.
I wasn't until I ran into my old friend from Junior Achievement that may dreams were just that. My friend encouraged me to start writing again. So I did. Currently I am on Chapter 4 of a book (soon to be novel) called "Redemption" (see Aspiring Writer blog for details). Friday, I will buy a digital camera and start taking pictures again, they will be posted on my FaceBook page for everyone to see. I am also starting a company, "J. Sterling Media." This company will the outlet for all my creative talents, both Writing and Photography. I love taking photos of animals, nature and scenery. I am now looking for a woman to pose for me to try my hand at photographing "real" people.
I would like to to encourage everyone to follow their dreams, no matter where it takes you. always ask God for guidance in your endevours. Take care and KEEP DREAMING........
As we go through life, our dreams change. We start college with the goal of becoming what we wanted to be when we are kids, then half way through we change our dream and do something else. Sometimes our dreams are inspired by others, our parents, a celebrity, a good friend. Sometimes our dreams are inspired by tragic events, like the death of loved one or good friends. Sometimest they are even inspired by dreams we have in our sleep.
When I was kid, I wanted to be what a typical little boy always dreamed of, a policeman or fireman. Between my Junior and Senior years in High School, I joined the Army. When I went for my test to see what I "job" I qualified for, I found out I qualified for any job I wanted, except professional ones like Lawyer or Doctor. I ended up with Admistrative Specialist, that would eventually be my downfall. I wasn't thrilled with that, and after I arrived at Fort Jackson (Columbia), South Carolina, I discovered my first medical condition, but that is another story for another time. Anyways, Admistrative Specialist wasn't my dream or even an interest, so I eventually hit a dead end with that.
In my Senior year of High School, I took a Journalism class. I found out that I loved to write. I joined the school newspaper, "The Falcon," and even had one of my stories published in the local newspaper. The story was about "Junior Achievement." I met a wonderful girl from out rival school there (please read previous blog post "My First Kiss" for part that story). I didn't it then, but that person will be a driving force behind another passion I developed, Photography.
After 4 years I moved to North York, PA. It was there I lived one of my dreams, I became a volunteer fireman (see above picture). I lived there for 3 years then moved to Salem, NJ. I lived there and in the next town over for 10 years, for about the first 6 or 7 years, I was a volunteer firman at the fire departments there. I quit when I met my first wife.
By this time I was taking pictures and loving it. Me and my wife never got along, she discouraged me in everything I did. So the light that was shinning on my photography and writing went out.
I wasn't until I ran into my old friend from Junior Achievement that may dreams were just that. My friend encouraged me to start writing again. So I did. Currently I am on Chapter 4 of a book (soon to be novel) called "Redemption" (see Aspiring Writer blog for details). Friday, I will buy a digital camera and start taking pictures again, they will be posted on my FaceBook page for everyone to see. I am also starting a company, "J. Sterling Media." This company will the outlet for all my creative talents, both Writing and Photography. I love taking photos of animals, nature and scenery. I am now looking for a woman to pose for me to try my hand at photographing "real" people.
I would like to to encourage everyone to follow their dreams, no matter where it takes you. always ask God for guidance in your endevours. Take care and KEEP DREAMING........
[Above photo taken at the Liberty Fire Co. #1 in North York, PA. in 1988]
Monday, June 22, 2009
My First Kiss
I started attending Morton West High School in September of 1979. I only had a few friends then. I was a shy and loner who kept pretty much to himself. High School was 4 years of hell for me. I never did make very many friends, and almost every girl I had a crush on, made fun of me for it. There were some girls who I remember didn't, they were nice and sweet.
One girl in paticular, I met in Junior Achievement. Me, her and her best friend Cathy were a riot when we got together. One day around Christmass, I ran into the 2 of them while taking a walk. Cathy told me on the way back stop by and we could chat. I was scared out of my pants when I rang the doorbell. Cathy answered and I went in. Cathy knew I had a crush on her, so she asked me if I would kiss her under the mistletoe. I nervously said yes. She placed the mistletoe over her and I kissed her. What her and Cathy didn't know was, this was my first kiss. After Junior Achievement was over, she disappeared.
For 25 years I always wondered what ever happened to her. Then one day last October, I saw her name on Classmates. I looked at her profile and started thinking if I should write. I decided to let fate decide. The next day, she wrote me. She said that she knew we went to rival schools and just thought she would say hi.
I wrote back that I checked her profile out because I thought I knew her in Junior Achievement and was wondering if she was her. She wrote back she was and really didn't remember me. I was insulted, I told her about "My first kiss" and was upset she didn't remember. I guess she finally remembered who I was, but anyway now we are good friends, she is an amazing photographer.
One girl in paticular, I met in Junior Achievement. Me, her and her best friend Cathy were a riot when we got together. One day around Christmass, I ran into the 2 of them while taking a walk. Cathy told me on the way back stop by and we could chat. I was scared out of my pants when I rang the doorbell. Cathy answered and I went in. Cathy knew I had a crush on her, so she asked me if I would kiss her under the mistletoe. I nervously said yes. She placed the mistletoe over her and I kissed her. What her and Cathy didn't know was, this was my first kiss. After Junior Achievement was over, she disappeared.
For 25 years I always wondered what ever happened to her. Then one day last October, I saw her name on Classmates. I looked at her profile and started thinking if I should write. I decided to let fate decide. The next day, she wrote me. She said that she knew we went to rival schools and just thought she would say hi.
I wrote back that I checked her profile out because I thought I knew her in Junior Achievement and was wondering if she was her. She wrote back she was and really didn't remember me. I was insulted, I told her about "My first kiss" and was upset she didn't remember. I guess she finally remembered who I was, but anyway now we are good friends, she is an amazing photographer.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
FATHER'S DAY
Good Morning on this great Father's Day Sunday. I would like to start by saying HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the dad's out there. I am a fortunate person, my dad is 72 years old and still fiesty as ever. Me and my dad didn't always get along for many years we faught and argued, he still has problems seeing things from my point a view at times, but he lets me live the life I want to live.
I didn't speak with my father [or my family] for several years. When I married my second wife, my family rejected me because she was Mexican. The marriage didn't last long, only 7 months, but after the divorce we still did not speak for just over 3 years.
In the past 9 months that I have been talking with my dad [and family] we have resolved many of the issues that separated us. I am so grateful for this. Many children don't get the opportunity to take advantage of their fathers. Some don't speak to them because of the issues that have between them.
I have 2 children, a son Allen, and a daugther Amber. I am unable to speak with them due to problems with their mother. The divorce was very bitter and bad, many things were said, on both sides, even though I have appologized for everything, she has decided to continue to hate me. She knows the only way she can hurt me is keeping the kids from me. The only time I get to speak with them is whenever she wants something. I doubt I will get a call from my kids today, but I do believe in miracles.
I didn't speak with my father [or my family] for several years. When I married my second wife, my family rejected me because she was Mexican. The marriage didn't last long, only 7 months, but after the divorce we still did not speak for just over 3 years.
In the past 9 months that I have been talking with my dad [and family] we have resolved many of the issues that separated us. I am so grateful for this. Many children don't get the opportunity to take advantage of their fathers. Some don't speak to them because of the issues that have between them.
I have 2 children, a son Allen, and a daugther Amber. I am unable to speak with them due to problems with their mother. The divorce was very bitter and bad, many things were said, on both sides, even though I have appologized for everything, she has decided to continue to hate me. She knows the only way she can hurt me is keeping the kids from me. The only time I get to speak with them is whenever she wants something. I doubt I will get a call from my kids today, but I do believe in miracles.
The picture on this post is of my dad, 72 years old and still going and going, LOL.
Today everybody should take thier fathers to dinner, give them a hug and most of all, Tell them that you love them. Take care my friends, Have a Great Father's Day.......Kevin
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Aspiring Writer
I am currently writing a novel called Redemption. As of this post I am in the middle of chapter 4. It is a book about a man, Jack Smith, who after being pushed so far after witnessing horrors while serving in Iraq, watching guilty criminals walk free on technicalities and finally having his daughters best friend raped and murdered by a man who was set free because of a bungling detective. He will be eventually be face-to-face with the rapist and must decide which path to follow, a path to self destruction and revenge or a path to salvation and justice.
I hope to have the novel finished and published in the next few months. At the moment, my real job is interfering with my attempts to finish writing the novel. I will keep everyone posted as the progress it takes.
Friday, June 19, 2009
The First Posting
I thought I would start my blog with a brief story about who I am.
I was born on June 4, 1965 in Saint Anthony hospital in Chicago. I lived and grew up in Berwyn, IL. I went to Karl Havlichek Elementary School when I began my quest for knowledge. When i was about 7, I was interested for the first time in girls, her name was Connie Voss. She was a good friend.
When I was 8, my mom died unexpectlly. I started a downward spiral that took many years to change. When I was 10 and in 6th grade, I was so sad and depressed, I no longer want to live. Luckily, that was caught and I eventually got straightened out.
After elementary school, it was off to Lincoln Jr. High. I was there only 2 years [7th and 8th grades], but I started paying attention to girls a lot. One in paticular. I had a serious crush on her that has never ended. But all attempts failed, I never told the girl I had a crush on her until just recently [25 years later, LOL].
After Lincoln I went to Morton West High School. My attempts at interacting with the girls all ended the same way, failure. My sophmore year, I met a girl, she even got my first kiss [although 25 years later she wouldn't remember it, LOL]. She was my only sucess at making good friends with the girls. I finally graduated, and it was off to the Army.
I washed out of basic training because of a medical problem dealing with extreme heat. I cam back from basic and was rejected as a failure by most of my friends and family. I sank lower into dispair.
In 1987, I moved with my father to Pennsylvania, I lived there for 3 years. I was a volunteer fireman, until I moved yet again in 1990 to New Jersey. I finally got a girlfriend shortly after moving there, lost my virginity [kind of late in life, LOL], and got married the first time.
The marriage lasted 7 years, all horrible. The only good things that came out of it were my son Allen and my daughter Amber. We divorced in 2002.
I got remarried quickly, but that ended in disaster too, it only lasted 7 months. I was sinking into dispair again. But all that changed about a year ago, I ran into a couple of old crushes on Classmates. The girl from jr. high and the one from my sophomore year.
I now reside in Waukegan, Il. and work for a company that makes slot machines. This is a brief summary of my life so far. I will go back and discuss some events in more detail later, but for the most part I would like to welcome everyone to my Wacky Life.
I was born on June 4, 1965 in Saint Anthony hospital in Chicago. I lived and grew up in Berwyn, IL. I went to Karl Havlichek Elementary School when I began my quest for knowledge. When i was about 7, I was interested for the first time in girls, her name was Connie Voss. She was a good friend.
When I was 8, my mom died unexpectlly. I started a downward spiral that took many years to change. When I was 10 and in 6th grade, I was so sad and depressed, I no longer want to live. Luckily, that was caught and I eventually got straightened out.
After elementary school, it was off to Lincoln Jr. High. I was there only 2 years [7th and 8th grades], but I started paying attention to girls a lot. One in paticular. I had a serious crush on her that has never ended. But all attempts failed, I never told the girl I had a crush on her until just recently [25 years later, LOL].
After Lincoln I went to Morton West High School. My attempts at interacting with the girls all ended the same way, failure. My sophmore year, I met a girl, she even got my first kiss [although 25 years later she wouldn't remember it, LOL]. She was my only sucess at making good friends with the girls. I finally graduated, and it was off to the Army.
I washed out of basic training because of a medical problem dealing with extreme heat. I cam back from basic and was rejected as a failure by most of my friends and family. I sank lower into dispair.
In 1987, I moved with my father to Pennsylvania, I lived there for 3 years. I was a volunteer fireman, until I moved yet again in 1990 to New Jersey. I finally got a girlfriend shortly after moving there, lost my virginity [kind of late in life, LOL], and got married the first time.
The marriage lasted 7 years, all horrible. The only good things that came out of it were my son Allen and my daughter Amber. We divorced in 2002.
I got remarried quickly, but that ended in disaster too, it only lasted 7 months. I was sinking into dispair again. But all that changed about a year ago, I ran into a couple of old crushes on Classmates. The girl from jr. high and the one from my sophomore year.
I now reside in Waukegan, Il. and work for a company that makes slot machines. This is a brief summary of my life so far. I will go back and discuss some events in more detail later, but for the most part I would like to welcome everyone to my Wacky Life.
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