Is it ok to be lonely?

For most of us, the Christmas and New Year's part of the year is one of the most happiest times of the year, a lot of "live" for this two holidays. Giving gifts, decorating the house with lights, mistletoe, a Christmas tree with lots of gifts, parting on New Year's Eve, getting drunk and singing "Old Lang Syne" when the New Year rings in. The family gets together on Christmas, kids get excited and play with their new toys that Santa brings them.
But not everyone has all them. This Chirstmas some people will spend it alone. There are many reasons for this. Some people are down on their luck, some have lost everything in the recession, some have no home, no friends, no family, due to different reasons. Some like me, chose to be alone.
My great-neice is always telling me, "you need to get a girlfriend and get married," but I see not reason reason too. I live my life alone and I am very happy.
My mom die when I was 8 years old, so I guess I never learned how to interact with women very well. During high school I had many crushes, most laughed and teased me when they found out about my crush, except four girls, these four are the ones I really liked, four girls I would never forget, even to this day.
At first I protected my heart because I was tired of getting hurt, now I protect it to prevent wasting my time on another relationship doomed to failure. I protect my heart to such of an extreme, that I would sacrifice my sanity to protect it [something I've done once].
The four girls I mentioned did something that was I thought was impossible, they got through my defenses and touched my heart. I don't know how they did it, but two of them actually did it twice, once in high school and once twenty-five years later.
After my two failed marriages, I decided I had enough. I stay away from parties [I never learned how to deal with large groups anyways], keep to myself, never let anyone close [except the four women I mentioned], and gon on living. I am independent, self-sufficiant, I do have a few good friends I can talk to when I need to talk, so I see no reason to change this.
But most importantly, I am happy being alone. I know I have affected many lives with my witty humor [I'm known for my comic-relief], I also have many, many friends.
Maybe I'll that "one" woman who can accept me for who I am and fall madly in love [if that really exists], but I really doubt it. She would have to be able to what those four women have done, and that it is highly unlikely. I don't know how they did it, something I will always wonder about, mabye it's left a mystery.
As far as those four special women, I talk to two of them almost every day on FaceBook. One knows who she is [and I look forward to her comment on this post, LOL]. the other I don't think she remembers me from high school very much [after all she's blonde, LOL] and how special she is. The third is on FaceBook, but has refused contact with me for reasons unkown. The fourth is still out there somewhere, all my friends from high school days say she just "disappeared". So what is wrong with being alone?

........One last note: Sorry for the blonde reference, just couldn't pass it up, LOL.

Recently I have been listening to my IPod and I have a couple of songs that got me thinking. The first song got me thinking about what I would do for love. In the song, the singer known as "Meatloaf" says, "I would do anything for love, I would run right up to hell and back, I would do anything for love..."

In another song, Bryan Adams says, "You can't tell me it's not worth trying for, you can't tell me it's not worth dying for..." So my question is: What would you do for love?

Love is a very powerfull emotion, there are many different kinds of love, and many different degrees of love. I have been in many relationships, I would have to say the first time I was in love was back in high school. I met a girl from the rival high school at a afterschool activity and eventually gave her my first kiss. She would disappear from my life, but she left an imprint on me that would be permanent. The next girl I fell in love the next year at school had several of the qualities of the "first." Over the next 25 years a lot of women I met and was interested in had those qualities as well.

My next (and last) "real" love was about 5-6 years ago. After my first divorce, I got involved with a married woman I worked with. I broke the first rule of affairs, don't fall in love. When I wanted her to leave her husband, she broke it off.

Ok, back to subject. Bryan Adams continues in his song saying, "I would fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the world for you, I'd die for you....."

I think that most of the love we think we feel, is really lust and desire. If you were to know that you can feel really true love; what would do for it? Seriously, I don't really know what I would for really true love. I guess we don't really know until it happens.

Oh, one last thing, lately I have been running into long lost crushes from high school, including my first love from high school. Even though she doesn't remember "the kiss" (I guess it wasn't as good as I thought), we have become good friends and talk often.